Maddie Simpson

The Madness

Although protecting the PAIRIN office from all things four-legged is a great joy, Maddie’s passion is her role as co-Madam of The Chocolate Bordello. Her commitment to receiving the adoration of all two-legged creatures is equaled only by her disdain for tiny helpless things. May they rest in peace. She is a proud, goal-oriented woman who lists eliminating any possibility for her husband to enjoy even a fleeting moment of enjoyment in life, and wiping a measurable percentage of rodents from the face of the earth, as her greatest accomplishments to date. Breaking the Guinness Book of World Records for the noble sport of marathon grass-rolling is more of a long term goal, that is believed attainable by experts in the field. To that end, with unwavering determination, she practices daily.